oh ya..i'm reaping whatever wrong choice i made earlier.. and ya, i hated it yesterday.i opening up to it today. and if i don't stand firm soon i'm goanna like hip hop dancing soon( in school we learn). dun ask me how i got into this mess. just bcos of ONE wrong chioice. so dear christians, do make decisions wisely and carefully. not like me ;) i'm still learning and i do have lots more to learn.

okay..finally posting and i guess it wouldn't be for long. going ss and dun know will i be keeping my blog. haven't been online for like?? 3 days. i had 43 emails waiting for me though some junk. reeally really busy. can't discribe and it's like the older we get, the busier we get. and summore got more responsibilites also. so duuno. adding on to the ss training..but will try to blog once in awhile. but i don't really wanna blog for the sake of updating, or blogging.. you noe? i'll blog like when needed, or when i'm on the com.

listening to some songs like My God is near..Moulding a masterpiece and so on. man, how i miss listening to such music. hopping and longing for an mp3 or discman..

goanna eat dinner now. pray for me, life's kinda real busy now and i don't wanna forget God though i'm busy. (= bye..

yups..now in school..frieds all listening to loud pop..playing miniclip or neopets...nothing to do except blog..didn't get to posts yesterday so i shall give an update

Thursday
woke up real late bcos i slept real late the night b4.. then woke up found no one at home, so there i was, home alone. bro was in school, sis too, dad overseas and mum went out. so i called mum asked her how, she told me to get lunch then go SS for training.. i had to iron my own skirt too.. so i was too lazy to go downstairs to get lunch so i ate bread. iron my own skit but good thing i didn't burn myself. haha. met my bro and mum outside the door. then met my sis downstairs walking. Great leh. all come back when i'm leaving.haha went SS had traning there.. ran 1.9 really hiong cos i had stich..then veri pain. ate dinner at causeway point then went home. haha think i'll get familer with causeway point very fast.. training from 4-6 staring from next monday..then wed and evry fridae..will try to chiong for outreach on every weds and dunno if i can make it. and chiong for Teenz worship on Fridays.

now the com lab has lot of pop music evry where.. trying to listen to christian music to overwrite it..haha but hard leh.. still can hear.

really made a really wrong choice. and i'll have to pay for the consequences. but really regret now. so dunno how..

(= just came back from Street E (outreach) uncle ben and auntie grace gave me a lift home..today was a fruitful night. one of the times where i felt a burden for the lost. just to sit back and look at the people walking by really keeps me sighing. just how many of them are christians? how many of them know the gospel? haiz.. it's just so sad..if i could spend my whole life sharing the gospel i also don't think everybody would be reached..we christians, often treat evanglism so lightly. just bcos we're going to heaven dosen't mean everybody's going to heaven you noe..there are many pple, lost souls marching into hell each day.. and are we caring? are we sparing a thought? do you noe the importance of sharing the gospel. i thank God He showed me how important it was..today.

in the past, i was sacred to share the gospel, in fact, very scared. and i still am at times. whenever there was a sermon preached on reaching out i would pretend i didn't hear anything. just bcos i didn't want to. now the importance to me is very real, i wonder how long this will last. it's not that i'm not scared, i do am scared at times. talking to strangers whom we don't noe. staring at a cold face. but cummon, what is the Holy Spirit for? He is there for us to talk to. for us to depend on Him, to give us the boldness. so all we have to do is to ask in faith, not wavering.

so how long will we remain as cowards? christians who can't be borthed to share their faith? let's step out in faith and start winning souls to Christ. listen, can't you hear? People crying everywhere..groping in the darkness with a load of care..

Listen To The People

Listen to the people, crying everywhere.
Groping in the darkness with a load of care.
Listen to the hopeless, living in despair.
Is there none to help them and the gospel share?

Chorus
O Thou Holy Father listen to my prayer.
Heal this selfish servant from my worldy care.
Help me spread the message that the world may see
Jesus love in me, now to every creature a proclaimer be.

Thank You for Thy Spirit, working in my heart.
I see my transgression, cleanse thou every part.
Where i've been so blinded by my vanity,
grant me heavenly vision, to win the lost to Thee.

*Chorus*

Dear Christians, wake up! Let's go onward, pushing back the gates of hell.

P.S. Hope i wasn't too harsh or anything..i am just really argh.. dunno how to sae..it's inside me. sometimes i feel i just wanna stand on the top of a building, catch everybody's attention, stop them from what they are doing and tell them the good news..argh.. how i wish that that dae would come. but it would not. i noe.

dun really wanna posts now..cos i'm not right with God..


Toaday was in SS for most of the day..then got "sabowed" by my friends to get interviewed by the press in CHINESE! argh.. wah i think most of the time i was talking English..haha anywae thank God it went quite well bahz.. was pretty scared and ya.. first time..and the goal i said of wanting to represet Singapore in the Sea Games was just thought of on the spot..haha.. (so , dun tell the press) my goal is anywhere God leads me, i will follow..wasted! should have used that time to sae my real goal.. yups that's about it..

dun really know what i myself am going through..

i've got 4 "free days" b4 my traning starts all da way to Jan..today really had a good time of sharing at ian's house..yups. finally all out. but hope the pple there would keep it confidential, which i know they will. haha erm, yeah..thx ian and lilis for the time being able to spend at ya house..and the dinner..and sharing.. =) suddenly nothing to share about leh..

oh ya, todays sermon very good leh.. worship was GREAT man! then erm, yeah sorri ken and sorry God, failed in my duty ( ken guess you noe wad i'm talking about)

on the way home was thinking, i shouldn't be complaining so much..it's not really like i'm in such a bad state afterall.. there are pple going through much more then me..in life, if you think you're going through alot..always remember there is somebody in a worser state then you.. i have to be content in watever state i am..if i'm not now, when will i ever be? when will i ever be content?

going to ss..100% confirmed God's will and i don't wanna be disobedient liao..i'm goanna obey God. i'm goanna obey His will. no matter the cost. i wanna be right in the center of God's will. sometimes i take it for granted that i can get into ss..i don't realise that it is God who gave me this gift. it's a gift from God and i'm going to put it into good use..if i don't when will i? i will run for Him, for God for His glory.


sis, just wanna tell ya that you're speical to mi..God knows and understands wad you're going through and He'll always be there for ya. tc and will be praying for you..i'll be there 24hours any time you need to talk or anyting. there are many other pple who care for you too.. we're all behind ya =)

today had a really fruitful time of teenz worsip, think it's the best ever! yeah. started teresa came to my house for tuition at around 4. tuition all the way to 6 plus then we went to church together.bought dinner from adams and ate. finish laio then went up for worship. Amanda brought a friend, prici. Great Job Amanda! keep it up! then we started with some songs.. and sang. then suddenly Ian was so serious.. then we all thought wat..then he sae that we would be sharing anything on our hearts. so we started with him. anywae, my lips are sealed, can't sae anything about what was said tonight if not i would be thrown into the baptism pool with milo in it. haha ( Ian, i knew you were just joking bahz..) after that ian arrow cheryl, then went on to marcus, me, anne, grace, kenneth, teresa and jon muk.. don't really quite know the order.. yah.. was a really really good time. anywae, first time shared what was in my heart with so many pple. actually i didn't share all, scared no time...all the topics brought up, seemed to be what all teenz struggle with.

Whatever on my heart, dunno who to share with.. i dunno lah.. erm.. guess have to share with God.. He's the only one i can truely share all my troubles and problems.. but if whatever is bothering me continues i dunno le..guess it's something that will affect me daily.. haiz

God i know You're there.. please hear my earnest plea. i despreatly need Your help. O Lord, please help me. i need You.

hey ya pple! dad's leaving tomorrow for Phil to do mission and follow-up work *sobz* sure will miss him. Pls pray for him and the reat of the team kae? thx. tomorow's goanna be a loonng day for me. Morning going airport, then going campus crusade with Anne and Joan, then going to go church for bbq. I leart something from the invithing friends for whatever outreach event. NEVER, NEVER under estimate God's power to work in hearts and bring them in! Last nite was talkin on the phone with my friend, cos i invited her for bbq mah..then she asked me if i got invite my another friend. Let's say friend A. i replied"sure cannot one lar..she every time also need transport and parents may not allow one.." i doubed God. anywae i dunno what happened, but today after school ended Friend A come to me looking soo excited, then ask me, "What bbq ar?..how come i dunno?" wah..i dunno what to say ar.. so i invited her for bbq then she sae she need transport. NeVER NeVER let any obstacle hinder you from bringing your friend in! Learn to work over it. back to the "story" then i think think think, but actually i didn't think that hard..haha =p i think God gave me a solution, thank God for that.. so i told her take taxi and i'll help her pay..she didn't believe i'll pay for her, but anywae, i'm praying hard that she and my other friends will be able to come.
Aileen
Benita
Desiree
Hui Yi
Sherlyn

Through The Storms

I did not know His love before,
the way I know it now.
I could not see my need for Him,
my pride would not allow.
I had it all, without a care,
the "Self-sufficient" lie.
My path was smooth, my sea was still,
not a cloud was in my sky.

I thought I knew His love for me,
I thought I'd seen His grace,
I thought I did not need to grow,
I thought I'd found my place.
But then the way grew rough and dark,
the storm clouds quickly rolled;
The waves began to rock my ship,
my anchor would not hold.

The ship that I had built myself
was made of foolish pride.
It fell apart and left me bare,
with nowhere else to hide.
I had no strength or faith to face
the trials that lay ahead,
And so I simply prayed to Him
and bowed my weary head.

His loving arms enveloped me,
and then He helped me stand.
He said, "You still must face this storm,
but I will hold your hand."
So through the dark and lonely night
He guided me through pain.
I could not see the light of day
or when the storm might wane.

Yet through the aches and endless tears,
my faith began to grow.
I could not see it at the time,
but my light began to glow.
I saw God's love in brand new light,
His grace and mercy, too.
For only when all self was gone
could Jesus' love shine through.

It was not easy in the storm,
I sometimes wondered, "Why?"
At times I thought, "I can't go on."
I'd hurt, and doubt, and cry.
But Jesus never left my side,
He guided me each day.
Through pain and strife,
through fire and flood,
He helped me all the way.

And now I see as never before
how great His love can be.
How in my weakness He is strong,
how Jesus cares for me!
He worked it all out for my good,
although the way was rough.
He only sent what I could bear,
and then He cried, "Enough!"

He raised His hand and said, "Be still!"
He made the storm clouds cease.
He opened up the gates of joy
and flooded me with peace.
I saw His face now clearer still,
I felt His presence strong,
I found anew His faithfulness,
He never did me wrong.

Now I know more storms will come,
but only for my good,
For pain and tears have helped
me grow as naught else ever could.
I still have so much more to learn
as Jesus works in me;
If in the storm I'll love Him more,
that's where I want to be!

found this poem here: http://www.apibs.org/poem/pp39.htm and thought it was really something close to my heart. i've been in the same situation too, and will always be.

I will do God's will no mater what, even if it's against my own will-bcos it's not i but Christ.


Gotta make this post fast cos my bro friends are here to stay over nite for dunno how many days and they will be hogging the com. so better use when i can.. haha.

Lord, help me to get right with You.

i really gotta make it a quick one since it's late. I came back from the Sports School briefing thing. Pls pray that i will be obedient to God's will. I have to make lots of sacrifices, but i guess, nothing is better then doing God's will. I'm in a struggle. Wanna go, yet don't want to go. They already have a training timetable all planned out ready for us. I'll be training every Mon, Wed and Fri from around now till end of Dec. Hiong ar! Goanna miss alot of teenz activities liketat, i guess..

now got so much time to post and i don't really noe what to post about..haha erm.. life has ups and downs and now is not really one that i'm up.. but i recall Oswald Chambers a great man of God saying "..but it is in the valley that we live for the glory of God. We see His glory on the mount, but we never live for His glory there." and how true it really is in my life.. sometimes i just have to sit back and let God take control.. one of my favourite veres..Philippians 4:11 "Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content." may it be true with all of us that though life is not always on the high, learn to be content..for all things work together for good. and it rreally does.. looking back at the times where i was real down, it was the time in which God was bringing me closer to Himself.. where i was getting to know Him better.

today was an average day, no school.. then i slept alot.. guess i was very idle..every heard the saying, an idle mind is the devil's workshop?.. i doubted God.. but thank God i happen to chance upon.. it issn't chance upon..it WAS God's will for me to listen to a sermon entitled pressing on in hard times.. it's really a blessing..

todae was a long dae.. woke up in the morning quite late liao.. by the time i reached Scgs was 8.50 then went for m3. today last lesson laio. yeah. then got to stamp my card and fill in some forms.today was the sign up day for the teenz camp 04' so took some forms. it's really amazing how God knows my needs. b4 PSLE i had 3 friends who wanted to come to church. so i told them after exams. then this sat got a bbq can invite friends. it's really so amazing how God works =0)
so pls pray that my 3 friends, Desiree, Sherlyn and Aileen can come..after m3 then went for service. today was a good service and one of a great help to me.after that went mac's with cheryl, anne and michelle. had a great time of fellowship there. actually cheryl was supposed to study, and she did a little. haha then went to church, in the basement was singing some songs then everytime cheryl open the wilds is God's Refining Fire. so funny then 4 of us sing in parts. after awhile went home. reach home liao then sian sian at home.. still haven't plan some stuff to do.. better do it soon. went out at night with my parents to buy some clothes and stuff reached home at like 11. turned on com which i am now using.. cos tomorrow no school. yeah! called in to conference for awhile.. while muliti-tasking, spilt water on my hand phone. so went to dry it. then after awhile placed the glass cup at the edge so it broke.. all things work together for good =p so here i am now downloading some stuff and blogging.. gd nite guys. =)

yahoo! exams over. i'm happy haha but yet so much time also don't know what to do with it. Better put it to good use for the glory of God. This post will really be a special one, cos it's right from the bottom of my heart. know it's late and should be going to sleep soon. after this post. So much things on my heart so i'll start one by one..

Temtation
It is in this age that i really realise what it is to be tempted, what it is to die to self. and i reckon that as i grow older, there will be more tempations that i will have to face. Right now, i'm facing the temptaion of music. My friends are all listing to worldly music. Singing it in school. I'm sure many other teenz feel the same.. i'm really tempted.but i always tell myself that God wouldn't be please with me if i listen to that kind of music. I would just be greaving the Holy Spirit in me. so there's the point where i have to die to self. It's really not easy. not easy. Sometimes i give in, i know i greave the Holy Spirit living in me. sometimes i die to self..

i'm too facing the point where i'm tempted to want and lust after wordly desires. For what? just to be accecpted by my friends. We may lust and chase after wordly desires our whole life..but i realise that in the end, we don't get anything. It's just a waste of time. That time could be used for God.and it will have an eternal benifit.May God help me not to be a man pleser but to seek to please God and Him alone.

a time for self seeking..

Where is the Gideon?
this is a day where idols are worshipped-idols do not need to mean statures or images..it could be studies, computer games, tv and others. Today, who is YOUR God?
even God's people are trapped in their snares-there are many snares in the world today..
good man have fallen, standards have shaken-where are the good man? what are our standards?-do we let the world's standard's take over?
where is the answer, who even cares?-who cares? does anybody care about this lost and dying world?

Where is the gideon? where is the man?
who'll be a leader ad follow God's plan,
where is God's champion?who'll be the one,
to stand like gideon. I'll be that man.-i'll be that one. Will you?